Homeschooling and Socialization

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I was recently asked by a mom considering homeschooling about socialization and she was concerned that her kids would be missing out on social experiences if they weren’t in school.  There is a common misconception that homeschoolers are unsocialized and don’t know how to interact with others and their peers since.  It’s beveled that if kids don’t go to school then they don’t get the socialization that school provides and are in some way socially deficient.  This is simply not the case.  That being said it could be for some fringe shut-in types that literally bring workbooks into the home and don’t take their kids out ever but I can only imagine that this is extremely rare (if it exists at all) and I’ve never met a family like that.

From my perspective children in school do not really get to socialize all that much. There is very little time for them to interact, at school, outside of the curriculum and when they do it is usually within strict bounds.  They are required to follow strict rules of conduct and the decision of how to deal with various situations is largely taken out of their hands.  They are told how to resolve conflicts/confusion rather then them being given the time to work through it. School is about conformity and order, and it needs to be because there are so many kids.

Homeschooled kids get experience with other children and adults through homeschooling co-ops, classes, volunteering, museums, tutoring session, playing with friends, sports and all sorts of other activities that kids are involved in. Most are allowed to navigate social interactions on their own and learn to resolve conflicts in a respectful way. They learn true life skills because they are dealing with real life interactions.  These experiences allow them to successfully and happily interact with different social groups whether it be peers, younger kids or adults.  I have met a ton of kids at varying ages that have been homeschooled for all or part of their lives and the vast majority of them have been very nice, well rounded and intelligent individuals.  I think that some of the disconnect between homeschoolers and their schooled peers comes from a disconnect in interests.  Homeschoolers tend to have more worldly external interests free from excessive peer influence and therefore may not always be on top of the latest trends etc.. that their schooled peers are fixated on.  This can cause a disconnect between homeschooled and schooled peers.  That being said I am always amazed at how the homeschooled teens I know have none of the us and them type attitude so commonly associated with teens.  They interact with adults as adults it’s truly a sight to see.

To read more about homeschooling and socialization:
http://www.homeschool.com/articles/socialization/default.asp
http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/human-relations/56224.html
http://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/Socialization.asp